February, 2023
Lord of the Rings, separating productivity from worth, and a short reflection on 1 Corinthians 13.
Hello, friends!
And happy February, too! I don’t know about you, but January seemed to both drag on and fly by simultaneously. I wound up sick with either a nasty cold or the flu, and I honestly don’t know what it was. Whatever it was, though – it knocked me out for DAYS. If you’ve been dealing with long-lasting colds or flus, you’re not alone!
In this edition of Transcendental Threads, you’ll find:
A beautiful piece of music for all you Lord of the Rings lovers with a reflection on the Shire & longing for Heaven
Q&As on tackling obsession with productivity, waiting for a future spouse, and veiling at Mass
A reflection on why 1 Corinthians 13 is not sentimental fluff, but rather gritty and real, the stuff of examination of consciences, a blueprint for how to love.
It’s been a joy to write up this month’s newsletter, and I hope you may find some food for your soul within this edition!
Beauty
May it be.
“What are we holding onto, Sam?”
“That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.”
– The Two Towers (film)
I came across this video of Voces8 with British singer Enya singing May It Be from the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, and it almost moved me to tears. I say almost because, quite frankly, I had just dealt with PMS symptoms a few days prior and cried all my tears over… nothing. Literally nothing. I wept into my fiancé’s shoulder bitterly and could not tell him what was wrong because I. Did. Not. Know.
Anyway.
I’m not sure if anyone else feels this way, but there’s a lot about Lord of the Rings that makes me feel nostalgic. I miss the Shire, even though I’ve never been there (never mind that it’s not a real place). And there are so many haunting, or wistful, or warm melodies from the Peter Jackson movie adaptation soundtracks that bring me right into that space of missing the Shire. I’ve contemplated a lot about why this might be. Why do I miss a fictional place?
I’ve come to realize that it’s really a longing for Heaven. I look around at this world, and at first glance, all I can see is misery, wretchedness, and evil. My soul instinctively knows it wasn’t originally meant to live in a world where misery, wretchedness, and evil rule supreme under Satan’s grip. It wants to go home. It wants Heaven.
But the prince of darkness has usurped his power. Just as our souls weren’t originally meant to experience misery, wretchedness, and evil, our world wasn’t meant to be under the control of the one who wields these. There is some good in this world worth fighting for. There has always been some good in this world worth fighting for, ever since Adam and Eve fell. God is still present. He desires to shower us with grace. And He asks you and I to allow Him to transform us, so we can spread His beauty, truth, and goodness in a world shattered by darkness.
Perhaps the best part of it all? He desires to use our longing for Heaven to accomplish these things. And that’s pretty darn poetic, in a very beautiful way.
Listen to this beautiful rendition of May It Be – and let your heart long for Heaven.
Truth
Q&As: Separating productivity from worth, why some women choose to veil at Mass, and patience in vocational discernment
Q. How can I tackle an obsession with productivity?
A. Let’s quickly go to the heart of the relationship God desires for each one of us. I invite you to keep this in mind as you tackle your obsession with productivity, because our ultimate worth is found in God, not in productivity.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that God created humanity in friendship with Him (cf. 355). Let me ask you this: do you want to use your closest friend for your own benefit? The answer is probably a resounding no! Love does not use for its own gain. Love involves loving the other for the beloved’s own sake, not for what he/she is able to contribute. In a healthy relationship, the love between the lover and beloved becomes a continuous circle of giving and receiving. This is what God desires for His relationship with you. The amount of work, product, or content you produce doesn’t give you brownie points with Him. The only measure He measures by is your love. Which, thankfully, He gives us the graces to do.
Now as to how to tackle an obsession with productivity? I can only speak from my own experience, but I’ll pass on what’s helped me.
Whenever healing of any kind – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual – needs to happen, it’s important to find the root and treat that, not the symptoms. And it’s really, really important to do this with God and not apart from Him, because He is the Divine Physician and we… are very much not.
I’m a workaholic in recovery. And thanks to what God’s brought up quietly in prayer, I’ve come to understand there are several causes and wounds that ultimately lead back to one root in particular: I don’t feel like my worth comes simply from being loved by God. I feel like I have to earn my worth. Intellectually I know that’s a lie. Intellectually I know the truth. But deep inside my heart? I don’t believe it.
That’s my particular case. Your root might be the same as mine, but it might be different, even slightly. I would really encourage you to bring this to prayer before you do anything else. Ask God to show you what’s causing this obsession with productivity. Does it stem from a particular wound? Does it come from familial values? Sit quietly with the Lord and over time (or perhaps immediately), He will show you what’s going on.
Aside from prayer & going to the root with God, here’s some practical tips that might help:
Take Sunday as a Sabbath. The whole day. No work. If your job requires you to work on Sunday, pick another day of the week. Take a Sabbath, every week. You. Need. It. God knew exactly what He was doing when He commanded us to rest on the Sabbath! Spend extra time in prayer, read a book, go on a walk, call a friend or family member you’ve been meaning to catch up with. Be leisurely.
On that note – when we look at what things were like for Adam and Eve before they sinned and, well, ruined everything, we see that God made humans for labor, for leisure, and for love. Labor is good. But so is leisure. We aren’t machines. Incorporate some leisure into your daily routine. Before bed might be a great time for this, because it will also help you wind down! Make a cup of tea & settle in with a good book, with Scripture, or with some spiritual reading.
Ask someone you’re close with to hold you accountable. Maybe it’s your mom, or your roommate, or your spouse. But if you’ve got an obsession with productivity, you may find it’s really difficult to break on your own, and having someone walking alongside you and gently holding you accountable may be the extra thing you need to overcome this obsession.
I hope these are helpful! Know of my prayers for you.
Q. How do I wait patiently to meet my future spouse?
A. Since it’s the month of Valentine’s Day and love and all that, I figured I minus well take a stab at this question. How do we as Catholics wait patiently for a future spouse? How do we, really?
I honestly think the answer goes back to the beginning of the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself. Only in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops searching for:
The dignity of man rests above all on the fact that he is called to communion with God. This invitation to converse with God is addressed to man as soon as he comes into being. For if man exists it is because God has created him through love, and through love continues to hold him in existence. He cannot live fully according to truth unless he freely acknowledges that love and entrusts himself to his creator. (Gaudium et Spes)
CCC 27
All desires we have point to the fundamental desire written on our hearts for God.
A future spouse will not totally and permanently fill the longing ache in your heart. He or she is not capable of that, and should not be put on a pedestal as the answer to your ache. That does a terrible disservice to that person, and sets him or her up with expectations that they will ultimately fail to live up to. Only God can fill that longing.
So, how to wait patiently? Seek God. Fall in love with God. Become totally content with Him. And if He desires marriage for you, He will bring you your future spouse in His perfect timing.
Practicals that may be useful:
Frequent the sacraments. Go to daily Mass if you can, or as much as you’re able to. Go to confession regularly. In these sacraments, God pours out sacramental graces in abundance. Also, if your parish offers Eucharistic adoration, try to schedule a weekly holy hour. Time in front of the Eucharist is well-spent, indeed. Especially when you’re seeking to grow in relationship with Christ.
Set aside ample time in your schedule for quiet prayer. Again, you need to keep developing your relationship with Christ. Spend time with Him daily. Learn to recognize the presence of God in your heart at random moments throughout the day. Your heart is the interior dwelling of God. What a gift! Cultivate and treasure this gift!
Serve those in your parish and in your community. Love requires sacrifice and service. Every one of us is called to love, and if you’re being called to marriage, serving others is a very good way to practice serving your future spouse out of love. Volunteer to teach CCD or catechism class, sort through donations at your local St. Vincent de Paul’s, help out at your local soup kitchen or pregnancy resource center – these are just a small handful of ideas to kickstart your thoughts!
Q. Could you share more about veiling at Mass? I’m feeling a call to veil.
A. Yes indeed! The tradition of women wearing a head covering in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament goes back to the ancient Church actually. Why? It entirely has to do with the bridal identity of woman and the concept that we veil what is sacred.
To dive just a little deeper into both of those:
The bridal identity of woman. As women, we have a bridal nature that is foundational to our God-given identity. We have a beautiful capacity to receive love – first and foremost the love of God. Veiling at Mass is a reminder of our bridal identity. If you’d like to go deeper into the bridal identity, the Abiding Together podcast did a four part series on the bridal identity of women, along with a four part series each on the identity of daughter, sister, and mother. I really recommend listening to all of these series because they are chock-full of wisdom, beauty, and profound truth; but if you’re specifically looking to understand the bridal identity of woman better, the bridal identity series is worth listening to. The link is in the resource section!
We veil what is sacred. The tabernacle holds the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist when He is not exposed during adoration or brought out for Holy Communion at Mass. This tabernacle is a veil around God, Who is Life Himself. In giving women the unique capacity to hold another human life (or lives!) within them, He made woman in His Image and Likeness in a way that He did not make man. In veiling in front of the Blessed Sacrament, we call to mind this sacred gift to have the capacity to hold another life within us. Not all women bear physical children, of course: but as humans our souls are so entwined with our bodies, and all women have the spiritual capacity to bear life, as well.
Being that the Church in her wisdom decided to make veiling optional (which she is perfectly within her rights to do so, as it was not an unchangeable teaching), veiling is certainly a call from God. I see more and more women being open to and responding to this call, and it’s really beautiful.
If you feel like you may be called to veil but aren’t sure, I would recommend wearing a cute hair scarf/kerchief to Mass a few times and doing some prayerful discernment. Is there peace? Is there anxiety? If there is, why?
If you wanna take the plunge, I’ve linked a few veil shops in the resource section that I love! One of them is my own, Ave Maria Veil Co, but mine do tend to sell out very quickly because they’re all totally one-of-a-kind. So if you don’t want to wait around for a collection drop, I’ve linked some other shops, too!
Goodness
The grittiness and self-revelation in a bible verse that seems to get overused for sentimentality.
“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
You’ve seen it on pillows, on laptop stickers, on Valentine’s cards and wedding cards and anniversary cards. 90% of the Catholic weddings you’ve been to have used this reading as the second reading, and it’s definitely been referenced at any Christian weddings you’ve been to. It’s even been quoted – in full – by Marshall on the show How I Met Your Mother (I watched this in early college but am not sure now I’d ever watch it again).
Overused? Fluffy? A set of bible verses with the texture of stale whipped cream? It’s been used so much for sentimental reasons that I think it’s lost its flavor for many of us. And yet, this is God’s Word. It can’t be just fluff. It’s actually impossible for it to be, because it’s God’s Word.
If you’re tempted to brush this set of bible verses off as too sentimental or overused, I invite you to see it with a different lens.
These verses are not fluffy. They’re gritty. They’re a blueprint for how to love.
We’re told over and over again in Sacred Scripture that we are to love as God loves us. Jesus tells us the greatest love is to lay down one’s life for a friend (John 15:13). We’re called to die to ourselves (Romans 6:6). But what exactly does that look like? 1 Corinthians 13 holds the answer for how to do that in the everyday.
Love is patient. Raise your hand if you struggle with impatience. Me too, friend. Me too. Being patient with others, especially with those who really test your patience – like terrible drivers, toddlers, or tediously insufferable co-workers – is a true death to self.
Love is kind. How often do you purposefully do small acts of kindness for those you love? You’d like to say a lot, but… now that you’re trying to remember, you might not be able to remember the last time you did that. BRB while I go unload the dishwasher.
Love is not irritable. When was the last time you snapped at someone you’re close with? Do you really HAVE to have your coffee in the morning before you can be cheerful? For me personally, the hardest time for me to refrain from snapping is when I’m experiencing PMS symptoms. I’m glad I’m at a point where I can acknowledge that’s the reason I’m feeling more irritable than normal, but it’s not an excuse to snap. It’s an opportunity for me to grow in holiness and in love.
Love believes all things. Do you tend to assume the best in others, or do you automatically assume the worst? I’ll tell you right now, I have to catch myself because it’s a little too easy for me to assume the worst in people. I know now that it’s a coping mechanism to not be disappointed in others, but I need to catch myself and assume that those who care about me have good intentions, even if the execution is poor. If they prove otherwise, then they prove otherwise; but if you search yourself and find no reason to assume the worst, it’s a bad habit that needs to end because it ultimately hinders love.
Truth be told, I think a whole examination of conscience could be done on these verses.
No, I won’t be adding that to my list of projects. That’s out of my pay grade, anyway. But the next time you're in line for confession, it might be worth to examine your conscience based off these verses.
We’re called to love as Christ loves. To live up to this is impossible on our own merits. But God gives us the grace. He always gives us the grace. It’s just ours for the asking. He gives us strength when we are weak.
To close out this reflection, let me ask you one last question. How would life look if you tried, just a little everyday, to live out this blueprint of love in your daily life?
I can’t answer that question for you. But I can tell you that it’s worth the attempt. Maybe your circumstances won’t look any different. Maybe your family and friends won’t love any better. But your soul will come alive. Your heart will soften from stone to flesh. You were meant for union with God, and God is Love. Maybe you won’t see an ounce of change occur in the external, but you will see change interiorly.
If that’s not enough, though, take comfort in knowing this. The Body of Christ is connected in ways we cannot see. When you begin to love more like Christ, His broken Body becomes less broken. Impacts will be made that you won’t ever know about in this life, but God will show you those very impacts when you meet him face to Face.
“For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.”
– 1 Corinthians 13:12-13
Resources
Links to Catechism of the Catholic Church references:
Books:
Be Healed by Dr. Bob Schuchts (click here to purchase from Ave Maria Press, or here to purchase on Amazon)
Abiding Together Podcast:
Veil shops:
I do not get any kickbacks for any product links unless otherwise noted. These are resources that have genuinely helped me, and might help you, too!
Before signing off for this month, I wanted to share with you a cake recipe that was honestly quite easy to make, can be done gluten free for those who suffer from gluten intolerance like me, and is absolutely delicious!
For some background: I have a running list of food allergies and intolerances that keeps being added to. As my fiancé and I have been planning our wedding, we unfortunately exhausted all our options for a wedding cake that I can eat – that is, all but one. That’s right, I will be making my own wedding cake. Thankfully we’re only doing a small cutting cake, and a dear family friend will be decorating it so that all I have to worry about is the cake!
We’re trying out several recipes over the next few weekends, and to start off, we tried this absolutely delicious chocolate cappuccino cake. It. Was. To. Die. For. I’m really craving the leftovers, but I’m 99.9% sure that my younger brothers finished it off. Perks of living at home until the wedding: cheap rent, I get to hang out more with my mom, I’m super close to my parish. Cons include anything I bake gets eaten within 24 hours by my teenage brothers. At least they appreciate my baking 😂
I used a King Arthur Flour gluten free chocolate cake mix for the cake mix it calls for and it worked wonderfully. If we use this for our wedding cake, we’ll do the cappuccino frosting in between the layers and do a normal buttercream on the outside so the cake isn’t brown. We still have a few recipes to try out, so we’ll see what we pick! I’ll give an update for sure when we pick out our cake.
That’s all for February’s edition of Transcendental Threads! Thank you so much for reading – it means the world to me. I hope you found some tidbit of beauty, truth, or goodness to ponder within this edition.
Know of my prayers for you, and I’ll see you in March!
Thank you so much for writing these newsletters, Cecilia! They never fail to turn my heart towards god, beauty and goodness. I´ve already added march´s edition to my calendar!